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Winning the Fight Against Brittle Diabetes

It will be won.

I’m close to winning the fight against my diabetes. Yes, I’m brittle. I mean I just heard about this one from my psychiatric nurse. Nobody ever said that. I guess I get lucky with infusion as being my way of managing my diabetes successfully. Infusion is as good as it gets. I already have perfect diabetes after all. I’m looking to win my battle with it, which will be won soon. I had to blow off my class at my job training school because I wasn’t feeling 100 percent. I felt blah from the middle of the night high blood sugars.

I feel a bit better than I did a few days ago. I also raised my meds despite the cough it gives me. I have to go see my internist for stronger cough medication. I spent my whole life unaware that I have brittle diabetes. This means that stress can cause unpredictability or changes in my schedule can also set off blood sugar swings. It used to be that I’d get irritable after massive high blood sugar. Zyprexa, my first schizophrenia medication was causing random high blood sugars when I was on it. Eventually, this medication also gives you the munchies.

As in, you get the carbohydrate munchies, which can get pretty bad. Caffeine didn’t help with this much but when I started meds I was trying to get my hypothyroidism under control. I eventually succeeded. You do not forget your thyroid hormone if you have thyroid disorder. You can’t forget it, period. You can mess yourself up real good if you do not take your thyroid hormone supplement and I mean for several days. You do not want to feel bad if you need to take thyroid hormone for hypothyroidism. This is a part of why I want to study medicine such as endocrinology because I want to figure out a way to help people as a medical scientist and an M.D. consultant.

Brittle diabetes is harsh to manage. The fact that I already have perfect diabetes, well, I mean, I’m trying to be a hero here. At 11:43 PM, I was 191, and at 2:07 AM I was 181. This is a sign that I need to raise my 11:00 PM – 12:00 AM basal rate, which I have done after getting up today. I am very close to winning but tonight I have to wake up at midnight only since while I’m feeling better from feeling very messed up on Monday, I’m going to have to only wake up at midnight tonight. I’m very close to a full night’s sleep with good blood sugars. I didn’t think it was possible since I was so severely sleep deprived as a child. I didn’t have access to medication until I was 20, and by then I somewhat knew what a good night’s sleep feels like. I still am not sure what a full night’s sleep feels like though as I’m still working on my blood sugars.

The night I manage to sleep the whole night results in me rising to the occasion verbally. My blood sugars have been stable during the day even as I work on my middle of the night problem. I have brittle diabetes, and it cannot be helped. I have to be careful with how I tackle the situation. If my diabetes had been caught earlier than 1991, I would have been able to be less brittle than I am. I’m sensitive to minor changes. I mean I can be asleep and have a low. I wake up because I can feel it. Then again, I do not go back to sleep easily if above 160. I’m glad my blood sugars are stabilizing now. Taking my medication actually helps make my blood sugars better. My blood pressure medication has been increased to 50 mg twice a day. I knew my doctor would agree to raise the dose because I still have high blood pressure fits at the supermarket when I have to deal with it. My problems will be conquered in time. 

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