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We live in a culture that worships youth and beauty and often disregards, disrespects, and diminishes age. This is silly for so many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that everyone is growing older every single day. Don't allow others to diminish you in any way. It's time to take back control of your life and live in the present moment. It's time to become "Soul Selfish."
Soul Selfish means rather than looking to others to make you happy, you take your own power in your own hands; Happiness first comes from within. Then you can help others—if you want to. Here is a daily recipe for clearing out the old, and tapping into the new, vibrant person that you are:
Do some "inner house cleaning." Sit quietly and review recent experiences and consider the following questions:
What experiences didn’t feel good? Write down everything that comes to mind, whether it's one or two things, or an entire list. Write them all down.
Then face it. Take a good look at what bothered you and why.
Clear it out. Is there an action you need to take, such as a conversation with someone else? Then schedule it. If not, maybe you need to simply have a good cry. Punch a pillow. Go for a run. Do what you can to release the stress. Look at it, feel it, and then...
Just let it go. Clearing out the negative is essential in order to create space for the new to appear. Then it's time to...
Honor your femininity by doing the following:
Prioritize pleasure. When is the last time you did that? What makes you feel fabulous? Is it laughing? Dancing? Playing? Focus on pleasure for yourself and in your relationship.
Learn to be a great receiver. When given a gift, do you say, "Oh no, you shouldn't have," or do you gush over with excitement telling the gift giver how wonderful he or she is to have thought of you and how much you absolutely love it? Try the latter. The gift giver will feel wonderful too.
Listen to and follow your intuition — both hunches and premonitions. Our culture is highly focused on doing and speaking. Both have enormous value, but adding deep listening will contribute more happiness and effectiveness. When you get an inner nudge to call someone, or change a plan or do something else, listen to it and follow through.
Fall in love with your inner and outer beauty: What makes you feel beautiful? Is it wearing beautiful clothes? Is it meditation? Whatever it is, do more of it, and if you don't know what that is, now is the time to explore.
Feel connected to your body: Feel its beauty, sensuality, and power. Stay fit by going to the gym, do Pilates, take walks, or dancing lessons. Keep moving. Heighten your senses by focusing and having more awareness of what feels pleasing to you via sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touch.
Enjoy your sexuality: Know and ask for what gives you pleasure. If you haven't done this before, now is the time. Just say it. Or show it.
Explore your creativity:
How do you express your creativity? What would you like to create? Would you like to write, paint, take pictures, or what? Look for online opportunities or on-the-ground classes in your area. Find others who find pleasure in what you like to do as well.
Expand your network:
If you only socialize with people your own age, mix it up. Find ways to spend time with people of different age groups and backgrounds. Common special interest is a great way to do this.
To be Soul Selfish means to understand that life is an inside out process. Expansion is available to us throughout our lives, but there usually is more time to be soul selfish once you've helped your children to launch their own lives, and the demands of your full-time career have lessened. Remember, it's your time.
About Jane Wyker:
In her book, Soul Selfish: The Awakening of a "Good Girl," Jane Wyker shares the vast experience of her inner journey. Working in over a dozen disciplines, she had the courage and faith to follow the guidance of many teachers and, ultimately, her own soul. Now well over 50, and still learning, she models a life prioritizing happiness that sources from within. A graduate of Cornell University and former elementary school teacher, Jane was a pioneer in parent education. This led her to her Family Counseling practice that dealt with marriage, parenting, self-development, career and loss. She presented seminars in Fortune 500 companies, raised four children, managed a thriving career and pursued her own spiritual growth. Jane saw that when selfish enough to live from her soul, love and wisdom flow. She believes that is true for all of us. http://janewyker.com/