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Ever meet someone who seems to be able to overcome any kind of drama with ease? It's hard to imagine how some people are able to cope with the curveballs they get thrown in life, but usually, it all comes down to emotional strength.
Gaining that emotional strength often comes with practice and a conscious effort to do so. Here's what emotionally strong people do that make them more cool, calm, and collected than everyone else.
They are quick to notice red flag behaviors, and even quicker to distance themselves from people who have that behavior.
One of the easiest ways to improve your overall well-being is to cut toxic people out of your life. Most mentally and emotionally strong people know this, and are also well-aware of the dangers toxic people can pose to one's sanity.
Emotionally strong people are also emotionally intelligent enough to realize that most toxic people will always have an excuse or justification for their behavior - or will straight up deny, minimize, and blameshift. Toxic people make us feel crazy, even when we're the sane ones.
That's why they tend to be more objective when looking at peoples's behavior, and more likely to quickly distance themselves from people who they feel could potentially become abusive, manipulative, or otherwise toxic.
They are more about peace than power grabs.
People who aren't feeling empowered, confident, or at peace with themselves are often the ones who tend to grab for power the most. This is why bullies bully, and why people who are angry at themselves tend to lash out at others.
The fact is that most people who are really strong inside don't care about being in power - as long as they are not being victimized or hurt. The reason why is simple: they have better things to do than to bully others.
Moreover, wise people often realize that bullies never really are happy - and also are very unlikely to succeed. So, they'd rather invest their time with better things.
They realize that it's better to be alone than with the wrong crowd.
People who are emotionally weak will keep toxic people around, even when they know they're toxic, because they just feel like it's better than being alone. This tends to cause a self-defeating cycle.
If you want to break that cycle, you need to realize that there may be a point in your life where you are your own best company - and that lots of other people may need to take a hike.
They are quick to call people out on their inappropriate, rude, or otherwise shady behavior.
Most people assume that being emotionally strong means constantly turning the other cheek - and this just isn't true. People who are strong are assertive, and will defend themselves when people try to walk all over them, hurt them, or otherwise upset them.
Speaking out isn't always easy to do, and it often takes a while to get used to do it. However, actually calling people out will typically stop them from escalating bad behavior - and ultimately will help you feel empowered.
They don't allow other people's negativity to bring them down, and they also learn to silence self-doubt.
A huge part of being able to stay strong in a bad situation boils down to keeping things positive on your end. Learning how to quell negative self-talk and how to let other peoples' drama affect them.
Things like distracting oneself, training yourself to look at the positive side of things, and also working to solve problems that worry you make a massive difference in your overall ability to shake things off, focus on your goals, and succeed.
They establish boundaries and keep them.
Boundaries are really important, but many of us don't actually maintain the boundaries that we should. We occasionally let toxic people wheedle into our lives through guilt, or let people offend us out of "niceness." A key to gaining emotional strength is realizing that there's nothing wrong with establishing boundaries and maintaining them.
Of course, this also means that you need to learn to say "no," and to tell people that you're no longer interested in talking to them if they don't take no for an answer. Should they ask again, the emotionally strong way to handle this would be to just walk away.
For the most part, people will only be able to cross boundaries if you let them.
They are willing to feel pain, express emotion, and admit it.
Bottling things up isn't always healthy, and trying to pretend things are okay when they're not is a surefire way to have a nervous meltdown. Pretending you're feeling fine when you're not also may end up hurting people's ability to help you.
Emotionally strong people are alright with feeling pain from time to time, because that's what makes us all human. They also are okay with asking for help if they need it because it's better to get a leg up than to just sit there and be helpless.
They refuse to martyr themselves to bolster up others.
A wise man once said, "You should never set yourself on fire to keep others warm." Realistically, most people will never appreciate the sacrifices you make for them. So, being a martyr to them doesn't really make sense.
This isn't to say you shouldn't help people; it's saying that it's important to draw a line between helping others and sacrificing yourself for someone else's needs.
While emotionally strong people aren't against helping others, they definitely will not be the people who end up sacrificing their own happiness and comfort for the sake of someone else.
Though they are cautious about who they date, they are not afraid to love.
It takes a lot of strength to love a person and care for them. They realize that there is a lot to gain from falling in love, and are willing to give it a shot - even if they've been hurt before.
The alternative to embracing the potential of love isn't really that good. When you shut yourself off from love, you will end up getting bitter, resentful, or even downright hateful. That's not a good way to live life, is it?
When you honestly think of the perks of love, you'll be open to it - maybe?
They don't cry over spilled milk - they work to fix things.
There's no point in lamenting over the mistakes you've already made or the obstacles that you're facing. It's only going to make you feel worse about the situation at hand.
Learning to refuse to be a victim of circumstance is a huge part of becoming an emotionally and mentally strong person. You're better than a victim, right? Of course you are! So, why act like a victim?
They have no problem saying "no."
We briefly touched over the importance of learning to say "no" earlier on, but it's really worth noting how important it is. The stronger you are, the easier it is to say no when under pressure.
The best way to start saying no is to avoid actually saying the word, but rather just say, "I can't do that," or "Maybe later?" The sooner you get used to rejecting people, the better off you'll be, and the easier it'll be to actually tell people "no" when you need to do so.
They don't mind a little hard work.
Hard work has never killed anyone. Rather, it often leads to the overall improvement of one's life. So, even if the work isn't pleasant, most people who are getting stronger will be alright with working a little harder to ensure that they have a happier, easier life later on.
They seek respect rather than attention.
Emotionally weak people tend to seek out attention, and tend to think that there's "no such thing as bad press" with people. The fact is that this tends to lead them to do terrible things that end up with them embarrassing themselves and putting their entire self-worth into the number of eyes on them.
If you go about chasing attention, that's an almost surefire way to ensure that your self esteem will go into the gutter. It's also a good way to ensure that you'll end up doing scummy things to keep people who don't respect you or like you around you.
Emotionally strong people tend to choose to be respected over watched. The reason why is because they can respect themselves and their choices - even if no one else notices what they do. Should someone notice, it'll be a fun bonus to them.
They don't believe that the world owes them anything.
One of the hardest realities that everyone has to deal with is the fact that being alive doesn't guarantee that you'll always have your needs met. In fact, the world doesn't owe anyone anything. Even if you try hard, there will be times when you won't be able to get what you want.
Realizing this makes you grateful for every little thing you have, and that makes you a lot happier and stronger for it. Moreover, it also keeps you humble and keeps you from having a chip on your shoulder.
They aren't afraid to fail, and accept failure as a part of life.
Every single major CEO has made a mistake or has failed at something. Albert Einstein had gotten failing grades in school. Babe Ruth has failed to hit a home run or two in his tenure as a baseball player. Even Johnny Depp has failed to get parts in movies.
Failure doesn't make you a bad person; it makes you a human being. Once you realize that it's a part of life, it's really not that bad. Strong people realize this, pick themselves up, learn from their mistakes, and continue trying until they succeed.
After all, that's life.