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Not Guilty

Things we need to stop feeling guilty for

Saying no, and sticking with it

These days we are massively overwhelmed and at times overworked with requests both from work/study and our personal life. Whether this is being asked to squeeze another task in when you already have a deadline to wrestle with or being asked to a birthday party and a fundraiser on the same day when all you planned to do was drink caffeine and lose 12 hours to Netflix.

The key to dealing with this is being honest with yourself and with those asking for more from you. There are ways to negotiate a deadline at work through prioritizing or having a frank respectful discussion with your boss about what is feasible in the timeframe taking into account your workload.

Matters of the personal life can, in fact, be much harder to make peace with. The reason for this is that people within your personal life will always want your time whether it is for an event or a reply to a text message. The plus side of this is that if you are honest with them about what you can manage they may be a tad upset or annoyed but they will get over it, they are your family/friends after all.

Everybody needs time to re charge, reflect and have quality downtime. Grow the confidence to say no in any situation, give yourself a break, chances are everybody else does.

Being lonely

If you happen to live on your own or enjoy your own company frequently you may be asked by multiple people making their own little awkward sad face asking you if you ever feel lonely. There is a negative connotation with being by ourselves that it is almost frowned upon by some, how can you possibly be on your own, at least buy a few cats so you are less tragic, even if you are allergic to them? If you enjoy your own company embrace it, spend a day indoors reading a favorite book, having as many naps as you wish or give the place a good clean- the options are endless! Getting out and about on your own is nice sometimes, perhaps you love a good rummage in a market or finding a quaint café to observe the world from. This is your pleasure, what you enjoy and if you love your me time keep it up, and invite others to try it to see how nice it can be. We don’t all need to run around in a pack constantly doing things to be living.

A no bulls*it approach

Speaking your mind can be very intimidating if you picture a boardroom full of work colleagues or a social group where you are not familiar with people the chances are you will think twice before saying what is rattling around in your head. Some individuals are very good communicators who appear to raise and discuss issues in a clear confident manner which can also prevent us from getting involved. As long as you are being respectful in how you deliver the comment or question you should not feel guilty for speaking out and for having an opinion which differs from others in any situation. Variety is the spice of life and that includes opinions, so grab that microphone!

Not looking like a model 24/7

How many times have you rocked up to a brunch or even a night out stating you are sorry you look a mess but the hair straighteners broke/ nothing to wear/ gained weight? At the time it seems to be a natural flow of verbal rubbish but when you think about it why the fuck are you apologizing for how you look? Should other people be the judge and jury on whether or not you can sit with them because you ran out of eyeliner pencil? The next time you turn up somewhere and want to apologize remember how ridiculous it sounds. Be you, frizzy hair and all.

Show me the money

Shopping sprees can be a perfect pick me up. There is no nicer feeling than wearing a new item of clothing or buying a set of vintage comic books. How you spend your well-earned cash is entirely up to you, as long as your responsibilities are taken care of (it is probably wise to feed your child and pay your rent) then go for it. What you spend your dollars on is nobody else’s business, they didn’t sweat for it.

Throughout life feelings of guilt are perfectly normal and common if you think you have caused harm to others, however the next time you feel the emotion of guilt look at why you feel this way and if it is a genuine reason for you to feel shitty. So how do you plead?