Tanya Lloyd
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My Insides Are Exploding

Living with insides that hate you.

My insides are exploding, they hate me and want to be elsewhere, or at least that's how it feels, Or like someone is trying to scrape them out with a really jagged spoon inserted through my lady bits. Endometriosis is when the lining of the womb otherwise known as the endometrium breaks off and attaches itself to other bits of the uterus, or an ovary, why not a Fallopian tube and you know what looks comfy? That bowel! Then, it goes through a mini cycle and everything gets all stuck together like someone spilled that nail glue that dries real quick all over my insides, and it all rubs together and causes its gracious host (27-year-old me) excruciating pain. Hospital time! 

IV Morphine, Codeine, Tramadol, anti-sickness, all of these drugs, straight into my veins and still I'm left to writhe around on a tiny hospital bed, crying screaming and praying for it to stop for just five minutes. That's the thing with Endometriosis, it has no cure. Operations can be done where the wonderful surgeon will actually get a laser and remove some of the icky sticky bits, or even cut them out, and sometimes take out the odd bit of baby making machinery (my 23-year-old ovary), but for more than 50 out of 100 women (myself included) the pain is back well within two years after the surgery and its worse than ever, so whats left? Hormone treatment, different contraceptive pills, menopause injections (yeah that's a thing) hysterectomy? But what's the point? I can't take my bowel out too and its got all comfortable! Can I be factory reset?

Endometriosis is a pesky little bastard with all sorts of fun qualities. He'll never let you forget you've got him, be it through pain, bleeding or my personal favorite, both! Bleeding for three months straight? You got it! The mood swings and general feeling of exhaustion from being constantly fucked come at me baby! Oooh and don't forget the sex! Oh my god sex, 80% of the time, it's more painful than pleasurable.

Imagine having to tell someone you're with or a potential partner that sex is extremely painful and most of the time you'd rather just forget it, or that your fertility is next to nothing, yeah! It's hard, sometimes embarrassing. Makes you feel guilty for something you can't even control; sorry for being moody because you're sick and tired of fighting with your own body, sorry because you don't feel like doing it tonight because who willingly puts themselves through that much pain? Sorry because you were fine a minute ago and BOOM he's back! How dare you think you can have a normal life.

  • 1 in 10 women of reproductive age in the UK suffer. 
  • On average it takes 7.5 years to get a diagnosis. 
  • It costs the UK 8.2 billion a year in treatment, loss of work and healthcare costs.
  • The cause is unknown and there is no definite cure. 

Yet not many people have heard of it, it's not something that I'd wish upon anyone. More awareness is needed but I have found some things that help – natural things.

One that isn't going to be popular is going vegan! Yep, I did this, not to try and ease symptoms but it worked; meat and dairy products have lots of estrogenic hormones, however soya products are also mildly estrogenic too, so opt for Oat milk (I swear it's so good).  

Avoid alcohol, as it effects the way Estrogen is metabolized 

Try an anti inflammatory diet – check out Dr. Weils Anti-inflammatory Diet for cancer, heart disease, age  etc.! It's not as bad as you think it will be!


Check out www.endometriosis-uk.org                                                                                                                Tanya Lloyd

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