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Just Be You

Learning to love yourself again.

You are enough!

Growing up is hard and is usually the time when people start to hate themselves. I know I did. Bullies were a big problem for me as they tend to be for many people. Whether you're a kid in school or a adult out in the real world, bullies always seem to know how to hurt you. The things they say day after day start to feel like a poison eating away at you. Slowly you get more and more depressed and your brain tricks you into believing the things they say about you. Your self confidence starts to take a turn for the worse, and eventually you can't even look at your own reflection. You start to hate the color of your hair or the freckles on your face. You start to hate that your thighs touch and all the popular girls have thigh gaps. You start to hate your clothes because someone said they look cheap and trashy. 

Hating yourself doesn't feel good though. And to try to counter the negative feelings you have towards yourself you start to change. You wear make up to cover your freckles or you cut your hair. Or starve yourself until your body looks "perfect". You beg your parents to buy you the things that all the cool kids are wearing even though you know that they can't afford it. You slowly change everything about yourself so you can be one of the cool kids, but no matter how much you change you are always seen as the loser. Realizing this just puts you back to where you started because you feel no matter how hard you try to blend in the more you seem to stick out.

Well guess what, you don't have to change a thing about yourself. That's why you were born the way you were. No one in this great big world could ever be a better you than you can be. So embrace your uniqueness. Embrace all the little things that set you apart from others. What's so great about blending in with everyone else when you lose the real you in the process? What's the point in doing what everyone else does when you're just giving up the things you love and that make you who you are? Who cares if you're a girl who loves to get down and dirty with the boys playing football or wrestling. Not every girl has to wear pretty clothes and make up. And if pretty clothes and make up is your thing then don't be ashamed to like those things. So what if you're a guy who likes watching anime and doing science experiments in his backyard? Who's business is it if you're super smart and love to play sports? There's no rule saying you have to be a stereotypical guy or a stereotypical girl in order to be cool. The coolest thing you can ever do is be yourself and love every flaw and every strength.

Never lose sight of who you are. I made the same mistake and even when i'm grown I still suffer like I did when I was a kid. I starved myself, I cut myself, I hated myself so much I could't even look at my own reflection in the mirror. I went to psychiatrists and more counseling sessions than I can even remember. I got put into mental institutions and put on all kinds of medication. When I ran out of medication my social anxiety sky rocketed and it felt like all the progress I made was for nothing. I felt low and disgusted in myself. Then I got together with my boyfriend and he changed my life for the better. He encouraged me to put myself back out in the world and slowly I got better. Slowly I got better bit by bit, and even though I still have some bad days but I never let go. No matter how much the darkness in my mind wanted to swallow me alive I held on. I didn't always realize it, but a part of me always kept that inner light of mine shinning bright. Sometimes you just need to find that one person or that one thing that takes all your pain and fears away. 

Don't be afraid to be who you are. You were made exactly the way you were supposed to be so don't go messing with perfection. Wear your smile like armor and don't let people's stupidity get you down. Because that's all it is, its just people's ignorance and jealousy. You may think what do I have that anyone can be jealous about? Well if you have the strength and confidence to be yourself, that's enough to make anyone pretending to be someone their not be envious of your courage. They will become jealous of your fearlessness to express yourself and the things you love. We are all people, all different but all equal. No one is better than another, some may just have a skill that may not come as easily to someone else. It doesn't mean the person who has to work harder is worthless, that just means they have to work harder to make their dreams come true. 

Be who you are no matter what and shoot for the stars. Don't let the mean names and bad days keep you down. How many times you fall down doesn't matter, it's how many times you have the strength to pick yourself back up that counts. Be brave, be strong, be weird, be beautiful, be silly, but whatever you are always be you. There's no greater feeling than being yourself and loving every second of it. So fight hard and be whoever it is that you are because you will be unstoppable. One of my most favorite quotes is "no one wants to hurt and feel pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain". 

Look forward to when the rainy days come around, because when the sun comes back out it truly is beautiful. You never know what tomorrow will bring if you never give tomorrow a chance. Soon the pain will end and you will heal and you will be left with scars. But don't be discouraged if you find yourself covered in scars, they are a reminder that you survived when you didn't think you could. Be proud of the accomplishments you have and don't compare yourself to someone else. Your life is yours and yours alone so what someone does in their life shouldn't have influence on you. Learning to love yourself is a long and hard battle. You will fight until you think you can't take it anymore but you have to fight on. A battle won doesn't mean the war is over. Every bump in the road you face is a battle. You win some and you lose some but you still keep on fighting. 

The day will come again when you can look at yourself and love every bit of what you see and it will be beautiful. A sea of relief and joy will wash over you like crashing waves. You might not come out the same person as when you went in but no one ever does. If you don't feel pain how are you supposed to know what peace feels like? If you don't feel sorrow how are you supposed to know what joy is? The pain is necessary. If you never have felt heart break how are you supposed to know how love feels? You can't have a pain free life because then you would never appreciate what you were given. You were blessed with the skills or talents you posses. The skin color you have or hair type isn't a flaw just because its different. Your personality isn't obsolete just because you're the only one around who is the way you are. 

True friends will flock to you when you are true to yourself. So be kind and love yourself and others will love you as well. It really is true when people say you can't expect anyone to love you when you can't even love yourself. Embrace who you are and never let that love die. Everyone has the potential to make the world a better and more beautiful place, so love yourself so the world can love you back. It's anything but easy but you can do it. Be you and don't be afraid to show the world. Be like color to a picture and bring life back into the world by inspiring others to push through what they're going through and love themselves again. Be the light in the darkness encouraging and leading people down that path of self love. Everything will get better even if it feels like it is taking an eternity, so just hang in there and never let that love buried deep inside your heart die. You are perfectly imperfect and above all YOU ARE YOU! Life is boring when we're all the same shade of grey, so don't be afraid to love who you are and spice up the world a little bit. Everyone wants a little burst of flavor to excite them. So live as an inspiration and lead by example and love yourself from head to toe and don't ever change.

Read next: BiPolar
Jasmine Quintana
Jasmine Quintana

Just an average girl who loves to write. I grew up living inside the world in my head, and my love for writing and telling stories was born from there. Being creative my whole life made me a passionate writer and I wouldn't change a thing!

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