Holy Crap I'm 40: Yoga Edition

Getting up from the floor at 40 is not as easy as one would think.

Exercising in your 40s is very important. A body in motion tends to stay in motion and a body that sits in a recliner, tends to rarely get up from the recliner. So even though I am a fan of eating, I have always been a fan of exercising. And when I say exercising, I mean walking and spin class. I walk because it is my therapy, hence the number of pairs of sneakers I go through in a year. I enjoy spinning because the room is dark and no one can see me. No one should have to see me on a bicycle from behind, unless they are being punished for something. And the music is so loud that it drowns out the thoughts in my hear. The sweating doesn't hurt either.

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, but, at 40, I am still hopeful that I can learn a thing or two. I had never tried yoga before, but a woman in my community started  giving a beginner's class which she called "shalom yoga," which would imply it was a peaceful class. Yoga at 40-hopefully this won't end in traction.



Non-Stressful Stress

I did it. I went to shalom yoga. My motivation was to support my friend, so my intentions were pure. She wanted to impart her love of yoga to others, so I wanted to see what all of the hype was about. But in the back of my mind i was thinking, "How can I do yoga when my favorite position is the 'screaming mom'?" I am not flexible (insert lewd comment here), I have a hard time relaxing(insert lewd comment here), and the thought of spending 45 minutes in a calm, non-stress inducing environment was, well, stressful. But I went with my purple yoga mat, courtesy of a golf and tennis outing that I had attended three years earlier. I went by myself because I am a big girl (and my friend who was supposed to come with me had to do carpool, so she said) and I was ready to face the challenge. 

I must admit, the yoga teacher was fabulous. She had me breathing and relaxing and pretending to be a tree and a warrior and a big fluffy cloud-the cloud, I had no problem with. The tree and warrior were another story... and every time she said, "There is no judgement here only love," I smiled and took a deep breath-and tried not to fall on my badonkadonk. 

The only issue was the woman who kept farting when the room was totally silent. I guess you can't eat dinner right before going to yoga.

Do Men do Yoga?

But I was also thinking that there should be more poses that relate to real life. Like, if there was an all-mens yoga class, is there a "Watching tv with my hands down my pants pose?" Is there a, "I have no idea what you want from my life?" pose or a, "But there is a game on," pose. You get the point.

I have heard that yoga is all about meditating and finding inner peace, so perhaps I should not have said that I felt like I was doing the hokey pokey, perhaps I should have kept my self deprecating comments to myself. However, being the egomaniac that I am, it had to be all about me, and I had to make the others laugh. Whether it was at me or with me is another story. But when I was lying on my mat in the lox pose (I'm not sure what it was actually called, I heard lox, thought about bagels and I was off to the races) and the teacher was telling us to relax and think about a beach and the sky. I opened my eyes after a few minutes and had no idea where I was, so that is either a good thing or the lavendar she had us smell was drugged...

Yoga at 40, not all that bad.

Banji Ganchrow
Banji Ganchrow

Self-proclaimed writer, masters in social work. Has driven 3 sons to 22 baseball stadiums. Hopes, because of this, they will never put her in a nursing home.

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Holy Crap I'm 40: Yoga Edition