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Depression, Panic Attacks, Anxiety

The Road to Being Consciously Aware, and in Control

Found on Uplash

Hellllooooo, my name is Hayden "Haydini" Loudenback. I'm from a small town in Illinois right next to the Mississippi River. And I am am independent researcher, and aspiring entrepreneur. Over the course of the past few years I've been collecting all types of informational data about things like consciousness, human history, metaphysical energies, and much more! I've amassed quite an understanding of the world we live in as humans, and the place in it that we occupy. But before three years ago, I was almost a completely different person. I had a lot of doubts about life and about my self. It wasn't until a serious heartbreak in high school that I started to look at things very differently.

I wish I could say that it happened all at once, and I was magically enlightened by some unseen force. But evidently it happened slowly, and with many, many mistakes. At first I began watching what is a now a very popular YouTube channel, SpiritScience. The creator, Jordan Pierce, was an animator who came into his awakening by reading many different books. And even though now I don't totally agree with everything that SpiritScience teaches, I do recognize it as one of the greatest accelerators of my shift in mind set. When before I thought of a world where everything was dry, colorless, and exhumed; I then began to think of things as exactly the opposite. I started questioning everything around me. I started wondering about what I was being taught in school, and rethinking what religion had programmed me to believe. And as it turned out, it was NOTHING as it seemed.

I started researching into religions, and different schools of thought. I started comparing them to each other, finding where they correlated and where they differed. And a MUCH bigger picture began to paint itself. It seemed to me that the more research I did for my self, the more questions I had than answers. In my searching for the truth of truths, I found the ultimate reality. And it was that there are MANY answers to EVERY question. And that everyone's truth is personal to them alone. But they all have one thing in common; love yourself, love your differences to others, and enjoy life for its ups and it's downs. This cleared up SO MUCH for me. When before I had uncontrollable bipolar depression, I felt like I could finally control my life. The only issue, is when the abilities came...

It was about six months in when I began noticing feelings that were always there, but very faint. I was able to FEEL what others feel. I was able to look at someone and understand, atleast partially, what they were going through. Eye contact almost instantly connected me into another person's soul. This sounds pretty cool, but really, it was scary. I ended up getting dropped from high school because I almost never showed up. I stopped going, not only because what they were teaching me was [email protected]#, but because I was dealing with the energies of over 600 people everyday—it was unreasonably over whelming. At first I thought it was severe social anxiety, but later one I discovered that it indeed was some sort of power.

This entire time I was trying to understand what did it. Was it the change into being raw vegan? Was it the constant meditation? Maybe the exercise? The answer was something I hadn't learned about yet. I started studying into it and researching from all the sources I could, and found THE ANSWER.

I had serious insomnia, and I took a natural substance called Melatonin. Which is a molecule naturally occurring in the brain, that regulates the sleep/wake cycle. I figured out the gland that over sees and creates this molecule is called the Pineal Gland. An endocrine organ that sits right between your eyes, between the two hemispheres of your brain. Accompanied by a few other glands, it regulates your entire hormonal infrastructure, thus being the over all controller of your perceived experience as a human. (This is why sleep is so important) Not only is it this, but it is also regarded in MANY ancient cultures, and a few current religions as the SEAT OF THE SOUL. It IS the Third Eye.

Somehow, by taking the Melatonin every night I was kick-starting my third eye, and thrusting my self into the metaphysical realm of energies. I felt so empowered by this information that I wanted to share it with the world! But I was soon brick walled by my very own family... Nearly everyone around me blew me off as some wacked out, nut job, conspiracy theorist. Which hurt—A LOT. I felt alone, which would normally depress me before my awakening, but instead it empowered me to prove my self. So I kept researching, I kept delving deeper into things like the Chakras, natural energies, Rei Ki, quantum physics, law of attraction, and really anything that sparked my interest. I kept going, and going, and refused to back down to any insult, or ignorant slur. This is what brought me into the highest level of consciousness I've ever been in. What I would call, the God level.

I began to learn that no matter what I did some beings would never see things the way I did. I began to understand that the knowledge I knew was only to manifest my life personally. I learned that everyone manifests their own lives based on their own interests in information. The things we think, speak, eat, and do directly manifest the happenings in our life one way or another. I learned the one thing that all religions attempt to teach; that we are all our own gods of our own lives. I am a god, you are a god, and the cat down the street is one too. And no matter how hard you try, a god will always create how it wants to. You can't force people into consciousness, you can only manifest your own.

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