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My family has always teased me for years about my abnormally sweaty hands and feet.
I've felt awkward and embarrassed whenever I'm around someone I like "like."
It always seems to happen that I'm sweating waterfalls when I'm at a job interview. I end up doing the "wipe my hand on my leg before the handshake."
I have always preferred to be in a cold room, hoping that'll somehow help late at night when I'm on my computer playing a game or writing a paper for school or Vocal.
I tend to attach sticky notes to my trackpad, so my pad doesn't get those gross streaks.
I'm not relatively big, a staggering height of 5'6" and this reasonably normal weight of 140lbs. What I'm saying is that I don't see why anyone would be able to blame my sweat on how heavy I am. And I'm not a super active person, so I'm not extra sweaty because of that. I am anxious sometimes, though, I significantly doubt that all my sweat is because of how nervous I get.
When I saw the adverts for hyperhidrosis, I said to myself, "Wow. That's me!"
But I got anxiety, and I heard something my anxiety was snarling at me,
"How dumb to be diagnosed with something about sweat! You can't even get officially diagnosed with anxiety, depression, or BPD! And you think you should get, what? Some prescription for your sweat? That's going to cost you, a poor college student, tons!"
Color me irrational and ignorant.
Nevertheless, I’ve talked with only my older siblings about my sweaty body, but not bringing up Hyperhidrosis or discussing this all with anyone else. My older sister told me that she could have it, too. Though, I already have some anxiety; though, I’m guessing that there’s a stigma attached to having hyperhidrosis, being diagnosed with it or not; just like any other disorder.
Which makes me become discouraged to go to the doctor about it, tell people about it, talk about it, or even touch anyone. It depresses me from writing on my computer, from doing online homework, and also trying to use my drawing tablet to create art digitally.
I’ve always thought that there was something wrong with me, like hormonally. Through puberty and continuing today, I’ve grown hair where I’d rather I wouldn’t between my breasts, around my belly button, my neck, chin, and jaw. I’ve always thought my forearm hair was abnormally thick.
High school and college are stressful enough without having to deal with this ailment. I moved more than a year ago to the cold Midwest, and sweaty hands and feet don’t help me to warm up; quite the opposite.
You don’t know how many times my phone has cracked or shattered into a million pieces. I’ve blamed my broken glass apple screen on “being clumsy.” But really, how am I supposed to hold on to my slippery phone, if it’s as if I’ve rubbed my hands with butter. Who does that? Not me, it was my natural, organic sweaty hands!
Oh, and the lint! Sweat and moisture attract lint, dust, dirt, hair, crumbs, etc. Which causes me to begin an array of behaviors: more than regular washing of my hands, flapping my hands to dry them somewhat, wiping my hands on fabrics that seem dry, and using more hand sanitizer.
I don’t know if you’ve experienced fingers and palms so sweaty that the test that you’re working on becomes damp and the paper starts to curl in the corner. Or if you touch what you’ve already written, like to wipe away eraser wisps, then all the answers get smeared across the page. Then, you get used to stretching the sleeves of your sweatshirt to wipe away your little eraser’s dusty mess. Oh, you have? I guess we’ve got something in common.
Thanks for reading and hearing me rant!