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After Bariatric Surgery

Don't judge us.

I had bariatric surgery in November of 2017. On that day I weighed in at 387 pounds. My highest weight was well over 400 pounds and I stand five feet 11 inches tall. I didn't have any major medical issues besides having arthritis in my knees from playing several years of sports, with migraines from prior concussions. I didn't have diabetes, I didn't have high blood pressure, so I didn't have all of those typical "fat person" diseases. I don't mean to sound harsh when I use the term fat person, but it is still socially acceptable to berate someone for their size. So why shouldn't I be able to use a term that I was called quite frequently?

No one is ever quite happy with themselves and most people want what someone else has. When you have bariatric surgery, not only does your world change, but those around you change. First you are told your fat, unhealthy, ugly, and need to lose weight. When you do get to a good point where you have lost weight, people are still harsh and judgmental. Saying things like oh well you cheated, oh you don't have the strength to lose it on your own, or so now you think you're better than me? And yes, I heard every single one of those and plenty more.

I didn't have the surgery for anyone else but myself, my children, and future grandchildren. I am 48 years old and have been struggling most of my adult life due to various decisions. I wanted to be healthy and I wanted to live a long life to be here for my son's, and for my future grandchildren. Stop the judgement! I didn't do this to fit into a bikini. I didn't do this to fit into smaller clothing. I didn't do this for attention. Plain and simple, I did this for my house, and it has nothing to do with you or your misconceptions.

I'm writing this for all of those who have had their way. I took surgery and am going through a lot of emotional issues because of judgmental people, whether they be friends, family, or strangers. There are many of us who don't have a voice and internalize their fears, their anger, and their sadness at the judgment people show. Having a surgery is not a piece of cake. There are many hurdles to jump before you even get approved for the surgery—including losing a good amount of weight. And the recovery time is not fun, and neither is learning your body all over again with how to feed it. There are so many hurdles to jump before and after the surgery, but I would never regret my decision. I feel better now than I did when I was 25 years old!

So, before you judge that heavy man or woman sitting in the food court, or before you judge someone after hearing they've had the surgery, please take a good look inside yourself because I'm sure you're not perfect. Because if you were, your name would be Jesus! Can't we just all get along and be more kind and sympathetic to each other?

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After Bariatric Surgery
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